


Love My Way

by FinnandJack2022



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Angst, Eddie Kaspbrak and Richie Tozier, Eddie and Richie, Fluff, Gay Eddie, Homophobia, IT - Freeform, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Reddie, Romance, Soft Eddie, The Losers Club, bisexual richie, fack - Freeform, pastel eddie, punk richie
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-21
Updated: 2017-10-22
Packaged: 2019-01-21 01:22:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12446368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FinnandJack2022/pseuds/FinnandJack2022
Summary: This story follows Eddie and Richie's friendship from preschool all the way to their college years. Throughout Eddie's life, Richie has been the light that's led him out of eternal darkness. Richie's been by Eddie's side through the most difficult parts of his life; Richie comforted him when they found out Mr. Kaspbrak was diagnosed with cancer, he was by Eddie's side for an entire year after the battle with Pennywise, and he even helped Eddie deal with his overbearing mother.Somewhere along the way, Richie realizes one thing; he's fucking in love with Eddie Kaspbrak. The only problem? Eddie is probably the most homophobic person Richie has ever met.





	1. Take Us All Apart

**Author's Note:**

> I randomly had this idea the other night, so here you go (: I promise it'll get better and more fluffy and romantic! If you guys could leave comments, or kudos, or even bookmark this story, it'll make me so damn happy and give me more inspiration to continue writing.  
> If you have any suggestions, feel free to ask me on Tumblr! You can find me @reddiesspaghetti

**Chapter 1: Take Us All Apart**

"I don't want to go," Eddie sobbed dramatically, purposely trying to cause a scene so his father would feel bad, and anxiously pulling on the sleeves of his oversized pastel blue sweater. "Can I just stay home today with you and mommy? School sounds boring. Please daddy, don't make me go," he pleaded, tears staining his chubby tan cheeks.

Mr. Kaspbrak let out a low sigh and kneeled down to his son's height. He lovingly ruffled his golden brown locks with one hand, and skillfully wiped away his tears with the other.

"If it was up to me, I'd have you stay home all the time. But you need to go to school and learn so you can be smart and go to college when you're older."

"I don't wanna go," the young boy whined. He stomped his tiny foot against the floor and grumpily crossed his thin arms. "I don't wanna go to college or to school. I just wanna stay home with you and mama and eat chips. If I go to school, I'm going to be all by myself. I don't have any friends. I'm nothing but a loser," he whispered sadly, his voice breaking at the end. The little four year old couldn't stop himself from throwing another crying fit.

Mr. K felt his encouraging smile quickly fall. The thought of his only child, who had a face  _so much_ like his own, being friendless hurt him more than any other pain he's ever felt. Mr. K pictured Eddie sitting alone at lunch, watching all the other kids laugh and smile as he awkwardly watched them from across the cafeteria. He didn't want his only son to be unhappy. School hadn't even started yet, and Eddie was already upset and in tears.

"That's not true, Eddie, everyone's going to love you," he said soothingly. He scooped the four year old boy into his arms and started carrying him down the stairs. Eddie rested his head in the crock of his father's neck, clutching the back of his sweatshirt and crying into his shoulder.

"How do you know?" he asked between raspy sobs.

"Because you're you, Eddie!" he reassured him. "You're funny, smart, creative, friendly, you're everything someone would want in a friend. I bet you'll be the coolest kid in school by the end of the week."

Mr. Kaspbrak suddenly felt Eddie perk up in his arms. "Really?"

"Really," he repeated.

"I am pretty great," he said confidently.

His father laughed and set the tan skinned boy down on the carpeted living room floor. "You sure are. Come on, let's go have breakfast with your mama."

Eddie nodded his head and trailed closely behind his father and into the kitchen. His mother was in front of the stove, preparing all of her son's favorite foods. There were stacks of waffles, bacon, scrambled eggs with cheese, and her famous hash browns. As she cooked, Eddie noticed the subtle rise and fall of her shoulders, and he occasionally saw her wipe her face a few times.

"Mommy, are you okay?" he questioned from his seat at the kitchen table, clearly concerned.

Mrs. Kaspbrak made her way to the table with a perfectly prepared plate. She swiftly wiped away her tears and set the plate down in front of her son, kissing his cheek as she did so, a pained smile plastered across her heartbroken face.

"I'm fine baby, mommy just doesn't want you to go," she admitted. Mr. K took her hand in his own and effortlessly locked their fingers together. Eddie watched in amazement at the way his mother's shoulders instantly relaxed as his dad squeezed her hand. Eddie felt his grin grow wider as Mrs. K's frown slowly turned into a genuine smile.

"Don't worry mama, daddy says everyone's going to love me because I'm great. I'm not scared anyone."

Mrs. K raised an eyebrow at her husband, trying (and failing), to suppress her giggles. "Is that so?"

"Uh huh, daddy said I'm going to be the most popular kid in school by the end of the week.  _Everyone_ is gonna wanna be my friend."

"Of course they will sweetheart, just remember that your mommy's best friend, okay?" Mrs. Kaspbrak said in a playful tone that may or may not have been completely serious.

"I promise mama, you're going to be my best friend forever."

_~Page Break~_

Richie looked at himself in the mirror one last time before heading off to school. He had huge black bags under his eyes, but other that that, he appeared absolutely normal. In fact, he looked  _better_ than normal. His father was an incredibly successful man and the only dentist in Derry, so he had plenty of money to make sure his only child out shinned the rest. The pale skinned boy wore nice, clean, expensive clothing (his father may be neglectful, but he didn't want the citizens of Derry to know that), a brand new pair of Converse, and his hair was perfectly curled and freshly cut.

He packed himself a half-assed lunch consisting of a chocolate pudding cup, a poorly constructed sandwich, and a half eaten bag of gummy worms. As he walked towards the door, he caught sight of his mother passed out on the sofa, three empty bottles of wine lying next to her. The five year old shook his head in disappointment and began his lone walk to Derry Elementary School.

The raven haired boy didn't live far, the school was only ten minutes away by foot, but the journey there was incredibly lonely. It was the first day of school, and he saw countless other kids walking hand in hand with their mothers and fathers. He watched from afar as mother's desperately clung to their children, actively fighting back tears, and he noticed the father's wipe away stray tears from time to time. And then there was Richie.

When he finally arrived at Derry Elementary, he immediately bolted into his assigned classroom, and he was immediately able to breathe again. He didn't want to stand outside and watch his classmates tearfully kiss their parents goodbye. It made him sad seeing all the things he knew he could never have.

As he stood against the classroom wall, more and more students started to file in. By the time 7:45 rolled around, it was time to begin class.

"Hello children!" a cheerful middle aged blonde woman cooed, enthusiastically clapping her hands together. "My name is Miss Amanda! I know you all must be super excited to start learning, but before we can start today's lessons, I have to get you all seated first!"

Miss Amanda retrieved a clipboard from somewhere on her desk and started reading off names.

"When I call you're name, you're going to sit at the desk I point at. The desk are big enough for two people, so the person you sit next to is going to be your partner for the rest of the school year," she explained.

It didn't take long for her to say Richie's name. She pointed at a desk located in the first row, all the way in the back.

"Richard Tozier!" she announced gleefully.

"You can call me Richie," he said softly, only loud enough for Miss Amanda to hear, and shuffled over to his seat.

Miss Amanda made her way back to the top of the row, calling names off the list one by one. Richie carelessly kicked his legs back and forth, his huge eyes scanning the room for his future partner.

Eddie was standing all the way in the far corner of the room, his confidence from earlier in the morning now completely gone. He was absolutely  _terrified._ What if his partner was mean, or dumb, or what if they just plain didn't like him? A million thoughts were racing through his mind at once. He was going to be friendless and alone and no one was going to like him.

"Edward Kaspbrak!" Miss Amanda called, pointing at the seat next to Richie.

The coke-bottle glasses wearing boy whipped his head to the side and searched for Eddie in a sea of unfamiliar faces. Eddie tugged on the sleeves of his oversized sweater (a coping mechanism he resorted to whenever he was feeling nervous), and slowly walked over to the unoccupied desk next to the awaiting raven haired boy.

Miss Amanda was already at the front of the second row, calling names, by the time Eddie reached his assigned seat. He stared down at the desk apprehensively, too afraid to make eye contact with Richie, who was now excitedly tapping his feet and wiggling his fingers.

After a whole minute of Eddie just standing there, Richie let out a high pitched laugh and raised a perfectly arched eyebrow. Up until that moment in Eddie's life, it was the single most beautiful sound he had ever heard. His partner's laugh was so kind and inviting, and it was comforting, like the familiar sound of his mother's singing or his father's infectious chuckles.

"Are you gonna sit or not? I promise I won't bit 'cha."

Eddie had never seen anything so beautiful in his entire life. This boy was like an angel. The taller boy's big golden colored eyes stared at him intently, his coke-bottle glasses and unruly curls framing his curious face. Eddie was instantly drawn to his partner's interesting look. He was wearing dark wash Levi jeans (a fashion choice his own mother would never even dream of letting him wear), a graphic The Doors t-shirt (again, another piece his mother would prevent him from owning), a jean jacket with the Psychedelic Furs and the Beatles pins, and a brand new pair of classic black and white Converse. Needless to say, Eddie was kind of jealous and slightly intimidated by how cool the other kid looked.

He felt like a giant loser in his stupid overseized pastel blue sweater, white short shorts, and matching white tennis shoes. His hair was perfectly combed and boringly straight, whilst his partner had natural curls that, in Eddie's eyes, made him look like an awesome rock star from the 60's.

"I-I know," he stammered nervously in response, finally sitting down.

Richie eyed his partner from head to toe, a small smirk pulling on the corner of his lips. He looked  _too_ perfect. In all honesty, he thought the shorter boy looked really cute, but he would never share that out loud. He knew he could call girls in his class pretty, but if he called a boy beautiful, he would either get beat up or in trouble.

But  _oh man,_ he wanted nothing more than to call the boy next to him beautiful. Richie felt like his partner deserved to know how adorable he was. Richie was entranced with his long, dark eyelashes, girly fashion sense, gorgeously tanned complexion, and he especially loved his golden brown eyes, which were hinted with specks of green, red, and hazel.

"My name's Richard Tozier," he stated, extending his hand out to Eddie. The shorter boy blushed and took Richie's hand in his own. Richie's smile grew even wider than before, the sensation of Eddie's soft hand in his own causing butterflies to go crazy in his stomach. "But everyone calls me Richie."

"I'm Edward Kaspbrak," he replied in a soft voice.

"Edward?" Richie repeated. "Edward... Can I call you Eddie instead?"

"If you want to," he said shyly. The two boys had stopped shaking hands, but their fingers were still intertwined above the table. Eddie didn't have the heart to break the contact and Richie didn't seem to mind.

"You seem really shy," Richie started bluntly. "Now that we're friends, I'm going to make you talk a lot more."

"I am  _not_ shy," Eddie responded, his voice much more confident than before.

"Oh yeah?" he insisted, leaning in just a little bit closer to Eddie. The sudden closeness was enough to make Eddie's cheeks burn bright red. "Then why are you blushing so much? My parents say people blush when they're shy or nervous."

"Stop it, Richie," the smaller boy said, obviously embarrassed.

Richie smirked as he slowly sank back into his own seat. He didn't want to push his new friend too hard,  _yet_. "Okay, I'm sorry. You aren't shy. You're just kinda quiet."

"Or maybe you're just really loud," Eddie countered.

Richie let out a low whistle that made Eddie giggle. The girl in the row in front of them, a mean looking red head with icy blue eyes, turned around and gave the boys a disgusted look.

"Why are you holding hands?" she snapped. "My dad says boys who do that go to hell."

Eddie froze in his seat. He numbly pulled his fingers out of Richie's grasp and placed his head against the desk. He was too ashamed to meet the girl's judgmental glare. The young boy felt hot, embarrassed, frightened tears about to spill over. He mentally yelled at himself to stop being such a baby. He did not want to be  _that_ kid, the one who cries their eyes out on the first day of class.

"You're Leslie, right?" Richie asked, giving the girl a pointed look.

"Yeah, why do you care, homo?" she replied in revulsion.

"Oh trust me bitch, I don't care," he spat honestly. Leslie was visibly taken aback by his harsh words. Eddie lifted his head back up but watched the encounter in total silence. His hazy brown eyes were wide from shock. "What I do care about is that you're being mean to my friend. How about you fuck off and mind your own damn business before I tell the teacher on you?"

Leslie turned around without another word. Eddie noticed the way her shoulders would rise and fall, like his mother's did earlier this morning, but he didn't care that the girl was crying. She was mean and nasty and deserved no sympathy.

"I can't believe you said those words," Eddie whispered in bewilderment. "How do you even know what they mean?"

The taller boy shrugged his shoulders. "I hear my parents say words like that all the time. I guess I picked all that stuff up from them."

Without hesitation, Richie took Eddie's hand in his own again and started tracing little patterns across his palm.

"What are you doing?" he muttered uncomfortably. "Someone's going to see us again."

"What?" he deadpanned, his grip on Eddie's hand tightening. "Do you not want to hold my hand anymore?"

"No, I do," Eddie confessed, a light pink blush starting at the nape of his neck and rising all the way up to his cheeks. "But I don't want to get made fun of again."

"Then we'll just do this."

Richie brought their hands down beneath the desk. Unless someone was standing directly behind them, their intertwined fingers were entirely out of view from the rest of the class.

"How are you supposed to write stuff down?" Eddie questioned.

"I write with my left hand, but most people write with their right hand. I'm guessing that's the hand you use, right?"

"Right," Eddie answered.

"Good," the pale skinned boy said with a mischievous smile.

_~Page Break~_

The rest of the day went fairly smoothly. Eddie and Richie held hands for most of the lesson as Miss Amanda taught them the alphabet, colors, numbers, and all the other preschool basics. Leslie didn't give them anymore problems, and she even avoided them during snack time, lunch, and recess. By the time school was over, both boys were secretly filled with an overwhelming sense of sadness. Neither of them wanted this day to end. Richie didn't want to go home to his verbally abusive, alcoholic mother and absent father, and Eddie didn't want to leave his new friend for the rest of the day.

"I should go," Richie said as he, Eddie, and their classmates exited the classroom.

"Wait," Eddie called after him, gently tugging on the sleeve of his denim jacket to keep him in place. "Do you want to wait for our parents together?"

This time, it was Richie's turn to blush. The way Eddie's golden brown eyes practically begged him to stay made his heart do a mini gymnastics routine.

"I'll only stay for you, Eddie Spaghetti."

"What did you just call me?" he asked with a laugh.

"You heard me, Spaghe-" Richie was cut off by Eddie's loud gasp.

"There's my dad!" Eddie beamed proudly, pointing at a man with chocolate brown curls, matching golden eyes, tan skin, and a warm smile. Richie looked back and forth at Eddie and his dad in utter astonishment. They were practically _twins._

The young boy sprinted forward and eagerly jumped into his father's awaiting arms. Mr. Kaspbrak spun his son around in the air, Eddie throwing his head back in laughter and playfully yelling in the wind. Richie stood back, his heart suddenly a billion times heavier in his chest. Eddie Kaspbrak, with the sunlight cast across his pretty face, with his adorably short legs dangling in the air, with his oversized sweater hanging off his right shoulder, looked like the cutest damn thing Richie Tozier had ever seen.

"I missed you!" Eddie cried happily.

"I missed you too baby," his father replied.

Richie watched in awe as Eddie's father, Frank, placed Eddie back on the ground. The little boy instantly took his father's hand in his own and ran back to Richie.

"Dad, this is Richie!" he cheered brightly. He resorted to wrapping his arm around Richie's slim waist because the pale skinned boy was too tall for Eddie to throw his arms around his shoulders. "He's my new best friend, but don't tell mom because I don't want her to get jealous. Richie, this is my dad."

"Richie, huh?" the man asked, kindly extending his hand to ruffle the boy's hair. His eyes went wide when he saw Richie flinch. "Where are your parents, Richie?"

"They'll be here any minute now," Eddie responded for him, protectively pulling Richie closer to his side as he did so.

"No, they aren't coming," he confessed solemnly. "I have to walk home by myself."

Mr. K took a closer look at Richie; he saw the deep bags under his eyes, the way he wouldn't make eye contact with him, he even noticed the way his clothes were a little  _too_ baggy for a boy his age. In an instant, everything clicked in his mind. Richie was no ordinary kid, no, he was far from normal.

"Nonsense son," Mr. K said cautiously. "Are your parents home right now?"

"No," Richie lied. He didn't want to admit his mother was indeed home, but she was probably too wasted or passed out to take care of him. "My parents are both working right now."

"Well then, would you like to stay over at our house until your parents come home?"

"Please say yes!" Eddie pleaded, his eyes dilated and full of life. "It'll be so much fun!"

It wasn't even a question. Richie said yes, and from that day on, his life changed for the better.


	2. I Never Said I'd Lie and Wait Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically Richie's mom is an evil witch in this chapter and Eddie is the sweet, pure angel that protects him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this in under a day so I'm sorry if it's not the best!
> 
> If you want to talk, my Tumblr is @reddiesspaghetti

**Chapter 2: I Never Said I'd Lie and Wait Forever**

Eddie Kaspbrak was Richie's saving grace during the weekdays, but when Saturday and Sunday rolled around, he knew he was tragically on his own. On the weekdays Eddie's father would pick him up at 7 am sharp (a few minutes before his father woke up at 7:15, and yes, the selected pick up time was intentional), he'd spend the next several hours at Derry Elementary School, and when classes were over the pale skinned boy would retreat to the Kaspbrak home until 8 am (an hour before his father normally returned home, if he was even coming home at all that night), and his mother was usually passed out by then. It was the perfect time schedule to keep him safe and protected. By the time Richie arrived home, his mother would either be passed out or too intoxicated to notice his presence, and the young boy could easily slip into his bedroom undetected. He would fall asleep the moment his head hit the pillow, and since all he did at home was sleep, he was able to avoid his family for weeks on end.

This particular fall afternoon was not one of those simple perfect days. No, it was the day all hell broke lose in the Tozier home.

Mr. Tozier was allegedly stuck at the dentist office for the fourth day in a row, and Richie's mother was not taking it well. She could handle him being gone for a whole day, two at the most, sometimes even three if she was feeling strong enough. But  _four?_ That's when her mind started to go crazy and her body would fill with regret and worry. Richie more than welcomed his father's constant absence (if he was never home, he could never yell or hit him), but he was slowly starting to notice the damaging psychological affects it had on his mother.

Yes, she was alcoholic, but she wasn't a stupid woman. She noticed the faded red and purple bite marks on her husband's neck whenever he was 'stuck at the office' for more than a day. She noticed their bank account balance significantly dropped whenever he didn't come home for several days in a row. On occasion, she would find little things that weren't hers in her husband's car; an expensive looking gold ring Mrs. Tozier knew she didn't own, a bottle of perfume she couldn't stand the smell of, a pair of  _woman's underwear_ that were two sizes too small for her... Richie's mother knew what was going on, but she didn't have the emotional strength to confront her unfaithful husband about their marital issues. Whilst he messed around with a woman who was most likely much younger than his wife, he left her by herself for hours on end, forcing her to take care of a child she wasn't equipped to handle. Richie was being raised without a proper father figure, and his biological father didn't seem to care.

Despite all of her faults, Mrs. Tozier  _loved_  Richie. Oh lord, he was the light of her entire life when she was sober. Her son, her  _only_ son, looked so much like her own father, the only man who ever truly loved her. Richie had his grandfather's curly dark locks, smooth pale skin, and unique facial structure. Their personalities were extremely similar, and they even shared the same crude sense of humor. Richie was the spitting image of his deceased grandfather, and it made his mother completely fall in love with him.

Growing up, she dreamed of being a mother and having a big, beautiful family. After giving birth to Richie, she watched her dreams dashed and divided like a million stars in the night sky, sparkling and shattered, irreparable and forever broken. Her body was too sickly and weak, the doctors told her she would never be able to bear children. Having Richie was an astonishing miracle that nearly took her life.

The young boy sat in front of the TV set in silence, too afraid to speak or move because he thought it would frustrate his mother. He knew not to make too much noise whenever she was on one of her benders. The five year old nearly had a heart attack when he heard the house phone ring.

"Do you want me to answer the phone, mama?" he called obidently from his spot on the sofa.

His mother muttered a few inaudible words that Richie took as a yes. He rose from the sofa and entered the kitchen where the telephone was located. He frowned when he saw his mother resting her head against the kitchen table, various bottles of alcohol surrounding her slumped over body. Judging by the expression on her disoriented face, he could tell she just finished crying.

Richie's heart stung whenever she got this way, and sadly, it was happening more and more often. Mrs. Tozier used to only drink heavily on weekends, and then she began drinking on a few weeks days, and eventually it escalated to her abusing alcohol daily. It was a steady, undetectable descent into utter madness. Richie can't remember where things wen't wrong, or when they started getting  _this_ bad, but it didn't matter anymore because they were already far past the point of no return.

"Hello?" he answered into the phone, momentarily ignoring his mother's deteriorating state.

"Hey, Richie!" Eddie's cheerful voice shouted into the phone. Richie felt his lips curl up into a big smile. Even on his worst days, he couldn't stay upset for long when his little Eddie Spaghetti was laughing like an angel, playfully screaming his name, and secretly taking his hand in his own when they thought no one else was watching.

"Eddie Spaghetti! Why have you bestowed the honour of calling me this fine Saturday afternoon?"

The tan skinned boy giggled into the phone, clearly flustered and trying to come up with a witty response.  _Cute, cute cute!_ Richie thought to himself.

"I was wondering if you were busy tomorrow?" he asked, cutting to the chase and giving up on the idea of saying something sassy in return.

"Why, are you finally going to ask me out on a proper date, Spaghetti Man?" he joked into the phone.

"Shut up Richie, you wish. My family and I are going fishing and we were wondering if you wanted to go."

"Well, Mr. Kaspbrak, luckily for you my schedule is-" Richie's mother ripped away the phone before he could finish his sentence.

"Richard isn't allowed to play with you anymore. Stop calling him."

And with that, she smashed the phone back into the receiver and turned her back on the mortified young boy.

"Why did you do that!" he shouted angrily, balling his fist tightly together in rage. "Why did you hang up on Eddie! I wasn't done talking to him!"

His mother snicked and brought a bottle of Vodka up to her twisted lips, drinking the disgusting shit like it was water. Richie cringed.

It may not seem like it, but in her mind, she was protecting her son from the horrors of homosexuality. The people of Derry, Maine didn't take kindly to fags, and she didn't want her son to get dragged down because he was best friends with girly boy. She couldn't stand the idea of her son being labeled a fairy. He didn't deserve the abuse that came hand in hand with being openly gay in a small, judgmental town like Derry.

"Trust me, I know Eddie Kaspbrak," she explained, her words slurred. "I've seen a million boys like him. Small, short,  _gay._ Don't tell me you're gay too, Richard. For fuck's sake  _please_ don't be a fag."

"Eddie isn't gay!" the five year old defended, his cheeks burning red with embarrassment.

"Don't bullshit me!" she screamed. "I can tell just by looking at him! He's a faggot, and if you continue to hang around him, people will think you're a fag too!"

At this point Richie started to cry. His feelings were all jumbled together and it was too overwhelming for him to handle. The five year old was worried about his mother's mental health (the fact that she was already this far gone so early in the day wasn't helping), he was scared that Eddie was going to be upset with him; but most importantly, his mother's words panicked him the most. Eddie wasn't gay, was he? No, he couldn't be, it's a stupid question.

"I'm not a fag, mommy," he spoke after a long silence. "I like girls. I think they're pretty and nice and they have really soft hair. I spend all of my time with the girls at school."  _Lies_. Everything he just said was a description of Eddie Kaspbrak.

"Good," the woman chirped. "Go watch TV, Richard. Mommy is going to relax in the kitchen for a little while and relax her mind."

Richie simply nodded his head and went back to the living room. He was in no position to argue with the drunk woman. His mother was a  _mean, nasty_ drunk. Her words had the ability to pierce his heart like a knife. After a few minutes of rare peace, the woman stumbled over to the sofa her son was currently occupying, a bottle of wine in one hand, and a cigarette in the other. She flopped down next to him and lazily lifted the half empty bottle to her chapped looking lips.

Richie felt his insides churn and his face scrunch up in disgust. His mother smelled  _awful._ She reeked of stale alcohol and tobacco. Before Richie could get up and leave, she threw a thin arm around his shoulders and pulled the small boy into her side.

"Mommy, what are you doing?" Richie asked, too petrified to escape her iron grip.

The woman dug her long fingernails into his fragile skin and started aggressively scratching at him. "Mommy,  _ow!_ What are you doing!"

His mother laughed as she took a long, hard drag from the cigarette haphazardly dangling between her shaking fingertips.

"Don't be such a timid child, Richard!" she bellowed, breaking into another fit of laughter when she realized how uncomfortable her son was. He pushed against her stomach, trying to break out of her hold, but she was much too strong for him to overpower.

"Stop it!" he yelled, tears starting to form in his broken golden eyes. "You're scaring me! Let me go!"

"Shut up!" the woman roared, placing a hand against her throbbing temple and sighing. "Your screaming is going to give mommy a headache!"

"No, you have a headache because you're  _drunk_ ," Richie corrected before he could stop himself.

His mother glared down at him angrily. She slowly raised her hand into the air, and Richie instinctively lowered his head and shut his watering eyes.

_SMACK_

Richie let out a few sobs and placed his palm against his burning cheek. The woman gagged and rolled her eyes in annoyance.

"Oh please Richard, don't be so overdramatic. Stop acting like a fag. You don't even  _know_ what true pain is." His mother, Maggie, stopped her sentence to admire her cigarette. "When you get older, you'll understand what it's really like to hurt. And then you'll need one of these pretty babies. Or... If you want, I can start you off early so you can try to comprehend the agony us adults have to endure every single day."

"I-I don't want to smoke," the raven haired boy mumbled weakly. "It's not good for you either, mama."

"Do you hurt, Richard? Are you sad?" she asked suddenly.

If she had asked Richie that question at the beginning of the year, he would have promptly answered yes. Back then he was neglected, alone, and isolated from the world around him. Now, several months later, he had Eddie Kaspbrak and his wonderful family, who constantly gave him something to look forward to. Eddie was his main reason to smile.

"No," he stated honestly. "I haven't felt sad in a while."

"LIES!" Mrs. Tozier screeched. "Why are you lying to me? Why do all men have to lie?"

"I'm not lying to you mama!" he screamed back. "Why would I lie to you?"

"Because you're your  _father's_ child, that's why! Come on baby, why don't you want to try mommy's cigarette? I promise it'll make you feel better!"

In her own deluded way, Richie's mom honestly thought she was doing the right thing. The way Maggie understood things, she thought her husband's infidelity was hurting Richie just as badly as it was hurting her. She wanted to take her baby's pain away in the only way she knew how. Unbeknownst to her, Richie stopped hurting over his dysfunctional home life months ago. He found a new way to deal with his family issues, a way that his mother didn't know anything about.

"I don't want to mama, please stop it!" he pleaded hysterically. "Mama, put it down and stop! You need to leave me alone!"

Maggie released a roar of chuckles and wiped away a few deranged tears. "Just one drag Richard, try it! When you try it once, you'll  _never_ be able to stop!" she shouted, inching the cigarette closer and closer to her son's mouth. "You'll be just like me and your daddy."

"But I don't want to be like you!" he protested, desperately pushing against her chest like a trapped animal. If smoking one of those things would make him like her, Richie sure as  _hell_ wasn't going to do it. He didn't want to grow up to be a walking, depressed disaster.

"Richard, stop, you're hurting mommy!"

"You're hurting  _me_!" he countered sharply. Maggie savagely shoved the lit cigarette into her son's mouth, but he spit it out before he could actually take a puff. It was at that moment he realized his mother wasn't going to give up. Which only meant one thing; he was going to have to play her game and bend the rules in his favor.

His mother reached down and retrieved the cigarette from the already dirty carpeted living room floor.

"If you don't smoke this I swear to god-"

"No mommy, I will!" Richie announced sweetly, extending his hand out to the deranged woman. "I wanna hold the cigarette just like you do! I wanna be an adult like you and papa!"

Mrs. Tozier smiled, and for a second, Richie seriously considered doing it just to make his mother happy. She never smiled anymore. He wanted her to be satisfied with him, but he also knew this small bliss wouldn't last forever.

With the biggest shit eating grin on her face, his mother gently placed the cigarette in his little hand. Richie brought it up to his lips, as if he were about to take a long drag, when he suddenly rubbed the lit end into his mother's arm. He was freed from her grip as the woman held her burned arm in pain and let out blood curdling screams of horror.

"WHAT THE FUCK, RICHARD!" she seethed, and Richie took that as his cue to fucking  _run_. He sprinted up the stairs and slammed his bedroom door shut behind him before his mother even left the sofa. The frightened five year old grabbed his little Star Wars backpack and rapidly started packing clothes, shoes, and whatever snacks he could find in his bedroom.

Just as he finished packing, he heard his mother's furious footsteps climbing up the stairs. She was drunk, and Richie could hear her stumbling and falling over herself, but he was still scared to the core. Maggie started banging on his bedroom door and shouting, demanding him to come out this instant and apologize for his sinful actions face to face.

The dark haired boy darted toward his bedroom window and quickly pulled it open. Without hesitation, he jumped from the second story and landed in a crunchy pile of red, brown, and orange autumn leaves below him. When Richie hit the ground, he heard his wrist make an unnatural popping sound, but he didn't have time to think about it right now. He needed to focus his energy on getting the hell away from his mother and to the Kaspbrak residence.

_~Page Break~_

"Well?" Mr. Kaspbrak hollered from the backyard. "Is Richie coming?"

"I don't know," Eddie replied out the open window. "His mom said he's not allowed to play with me anymore."

Mr. K raised a suspicious eyebrow and stopped the garden work he was doing to further question his son.

"Why doesn't she want you guys to play together anymore?" he asked as he entered the home.

"I don't know," Eddie answered solemnly. "Richie's my best friend, daddy. I don't want us to stop hanging out."

The four year old started sniffling, and his small sniffles soon turned into full blown crying.

"Baby no, don't be sad. Please don't cry. Papa needs you to be a happy boy," Mr. Kaspbrak soothed, taking his son into his arms and carrying him to the sofa. He placed Eddie's head in his lap as he lovingly ran his fingers through his golden brown locks. "Think about it, when have Richie's parents ever gotten in the way of you two being together."

"N-N-Never," he stuttered breathlessly. "T-Today's the o-only t-ti-time."

"Exactly. I'm not trying to talk badly about Richie's parents, but they work well into the night anyway. How are they going to know Richie's staying here when they aren't home to check on him themselves?"

"I-I don't know," he said, at a total loss for words.

"See buddy? Nothing's going to change between you and Richie. He's your best friend and you're his. That's a bond that can't be easily broken. You guys are special to each other, and it's absolutely beautiful. Most people spend their entire lives searching for their best friend. You're lucky, Eddie Bear, because you found yours so early in life."

"He is special," Eddie smiled, a blush taking over his cheeks at the mention of Richie. "Even when I'm sad, Richie can  _always_ make me smile. We like the same things and I'm never bored when he's around."

"It sounds like you love him," his father pointed out with a soft smiled plastered across his face.

"W-What?" Eddie sputtered, his golden brown eyes wide from shock. "Daddy, I don't  _like_ like Richie, he's just a friend!"

Mr. K chuckled. "I know Eddie. There's different kinds of love. The type of love you're referring to is the way I feel about your mother. The type of love you feel for Richie is similar to the kind of love I feel for you."

"What happens if a boy loves another boy the way you love mama?"

His father gave Eddie a surprised look. He stayed quiet for a few minutes, thinking about how to properly respond.

"Nevermind, don't answer that. Did you ever have a best friend besides mommy?" he pondered, slyly trying to change the topic of the conversation.

Mr. Kaspbrak's smile grew even wider, but the joy in his eyes was replaced by a look of longful mourning.

"Your Uncle Lionel was my best friend, Eddie. Even though he's not with us anymore, he'll always be my best friend. No one could ever come close to replacing him."

Mr. K didn't speak about his older brother often. It wasn't that he didn't care about his memory, the issue was that it was too painful to remember him. Lionel, or Lonnie as he liked to call him, was drafted into the Vietnam War when Mr. Kaspbrak was fifteen years old. He never came back.

"Papa, I-" the young boy was cut off by a sudden pounding on their front door.

"Eddie!" a frantic voice yelled. "Eddie, are you home?"

"Richie!" Eddie screamed, immediately sprinting to the front door and swinging it wide open.

On the other side stood his best friend, tear tracks staining his chubby cheeks, his dark hair crazy and wild, his clothes filthy and covered in dirt, and their was a dark red hand print across his small face.

"Oh my god, Richie, what happened to you?" Eddie asked in shock.

As the words left Eddie's lips, they just made the broken boy cry even worse. Eddie did the only thing he thought would help; he placed a chaste kiss against Richie's injured cheek and tearfully wrapped his arms around the taller boy's waist, holding him protectively against his chest. Richie threw his arms around Eddie's slim shoulders and held onto him like his life depended on it. In a way, it kind of did.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, comments, kudos, and bookmarks are greatly appreciated. I'd like to give a special thanks to all the users who have given me positive feedback on this story so far, you have no idea how happy it's made me (:
> 
> For any questions or suggestions, you can find me on Tumblr @reddiesspaghetti
> 
> ~Naya


End file.
